Thinking of Hiring Your Kind of Liar? Think Again

There’s a certain type of leader you only have to work with for … oh … 5 minutes, before concluding that she sucks.

Why? Because said leader is extremely talented at making everything about her. As far as she's concerned, you and your opinions are garbage. (So if you’ve ever wondered why this manager always looks like she smells something bad, well, that’s why.)

Depending on how long the individual has been in the workforce, she may have learned to solicit your opinion every now and again (having been told that this is what good managers do), but you quickly discover she isn't listening, and she'll never use the information, or barely acknowledge you offered it.

Shame.

Like me, you may have wondered more than once how these damn people keep getting hired into positions of authority. Their self-centeredness and near pathologic need for control can’t be hidden. 

Could it be someone else in authority actually detected these traits during the interview stage and hired the person anyway?

Methinks yes.

Itching to hire "my kind of liar"

Considering everything we know about the psychology of talent sourcing, including how hiring managers often extend job offers to people who remind them of themselves, I’ve concluded that some of these truly awful leaders are brought on board because the hiring manager, who considers himself or herself a little cocky—but in a good way—believed this individual’s “edge” would be beneficial for the business.

The thinking goes something like this:

“Jamie’s a little haughty, but I like that. You need confidence in this game to get things moving. And I know she’s probably exaggerating her accomplishments a little, but she’s just trying to make a good impression. I like that, too. A bit of boldness never hurt. Plus, Jamie’s got great technical skills. I think we’d be lucky to have such a poised, aggressive, and knowledgeable person on staff.”

For the love of all that’s holy and good, employer, please … stop right there.

You know this person—not!

Once upon a time, I hired a man (let’s call him Pete) who exhibited humor, charm, and flawless professionalism. He had a great resume, too.

We had a good time during the interview. My BS meter went off once or twice, but I was having too much fun to pay it any mind. In my foolishness, I chalked Pete’s braggadocio up to youthful exuberance.

Sometimes I’m an idiot.

Later, I’d learn that Pete: 

• Falsified his resume, claiming education and work experience he didn’t have.
• Lied that he’d been laid off from his last job when he’d been fired.
• Colluded with a friend to provide a false reference. (Yes, believe it or not, Pete’s friend pretended to be his former manager at a company neither had ever stepped foot in.)
• Claimed to be enrolled in a Master’s degree program at a school that’d never heard of him.

It took me a few months to untangle Pete’s half-truths and outright lies, but boy was that a life lesson! (Also, Pete’s former manager and I became friends, which was nice.)

But I KNOW I’m not the only sucker to have hired a total fraud, all because I saw something of myself in this person and figured, “Hey, I’m okay, so he’s okay.”

Dumb.

I gave the recruiter who found Pete hell, but most of the blame fell squarely on my shoulders. Live and learn indeed.

Just say no 

There’s a common misconception that because we all tell lies, we should presume the liars we encounter are harmless.

Folks, that’s a dangerous presumption.

Despite my poor decision, I got off easy. Pete was not hired into a management position, and his performance tipped me off almost immediately that something was rotten in Denmark. Within a few months, he was gone.

Still, I implore you—don’t allow a trickster to slither into your workplace out of a mistaken belief that lying during a job interview is expected, and therefore it’s not only harmless but evidence of a savvy jobseeker/healthily ambitious worker who’s only doing what any one of us would do to get a job.

Instead of “your kind of liar,” you might find yourself with a deceiver like none other; one who wrecks your team, compromises your brand, and wastes your time—and that’s if you’re lucky.

Management Challenge #293: The Narcissistic Boss

Of all the offensive managerial types, the narcissist has got to be one of the worst.

For our purposes, the term “narcissist” does NOT refer to those with narcissistic personality disorder (although God knows you don’t want someone with this diagnosis in your workplace). Instead, we’ll be talking about your garden-variety but nonetheless dangerous self-serving and self-loving boss. That’s enough bad news for one day.

Hallmarks of the Narcissistic Boss

Narcissistic bosses believe the world would be a much better place if everyone were just like them.

Employees toiling under these self-centered tyrants quickly begin to feel stifled, demoralized, and unappreciated. And no wonder. Each of us is a unique human being with a distinctive personality, temperament, and worldview. It doesn’t feel good when someone attempts to suppress our wills by imposing theirs.

Also, narcissists tend to be sneaky little so-and-sos. They’ll pretend to be “nice” when it suits their purposes, but when it doesn’t watch out! Naturally, their employees receive the brunt of their malice.

What’s more, narcissistic bosses set people up for failure. Demands are communicated haphazardly and with a near total lack of transparency. Data without context is a specialty; narcissists are crazy tight-fisted with information. The poor soul responsible for pleasing an implacable narcissist often finds him- or herself in a damned if you do/damned if you don’t position.

It’s a puzzle. How can someone provide so much detail (these folks are micromanagers for sure) and still be so terrible at communicating what they want?

But perhaps worst of all, narcissists have no (zilch, zippo, nil) sense of humor about themselves. As such, they are prickly, oversensitive to criticism, and dishonest (“Admit a mistake? Hell no. I’ll just pretend you misunderstood or blame someone else …”). 

They are, in a word, “difficult” to work with. Not that they actually care to work with anyone. Narcissists are the ultimate non-team playing players.

In a nutshell, narcissistic bosses are:

• Emotionally shallow;
• Lacking in empathy;
• Ridiculously self-absorbed;
• Envious; 
• Impervious to blame; and
• Untrustworthy

But, narcissists have two things in their favor: 

1. They’re great at sucking up to those they deem important. 
2. They’re completely shameless and will do most anything to meet their dastardly goals. As a result, they’re talented at catching the rest of us off guard and unprepared to deal with someone whom we couldn’t fathom would do that.

Handling the Narcissistic Manager

First, accept that you must do something, because inaction is not a responsible option. Narcissists are toxic to teams, partly because they’re envious and will deliberately sabotage others’ success and partly because they annoy the heck out of people.

Second, if the narcissist is someone you hired, admit this wasn’t your best decision and move on. Pretending that nothing is wrong will only compound the problem.

Third, let your ethics be your guide. We often know the right thing to do but talk ourselves out of doing it to avoid inconvenience, embarrassment, shame, or some other perceived loss. Please don’t do that now. Whatever circle of influence your narcissistic employee has, he or she is probably using it for no good—or more to the point, no one else’s good.

Fourth, don’t be fooled. Narcissists care very little for you or your company goals, no matter what they say to the contrary.

Fifth, listen. If you have a narcissist in your workplace, you’ll know it, because he or she is forever ruffling somebody’s feathers. Interpersonal conflict and narcissists are like salt and pepper—where one is you can usually find the other. A real tale-tell sign? When you start to listen, you’ll begin to hear from people who typically don’t butt heads with anyone.

Sixth, hope for rehabilitation, but prepare for separation. The challenge of managing interpersonal conflict is that everyone has a point of view. So be doubly careful when disciplining a narcissist. Document everything. Provide reasonable chances. Exercise compassion but be firm. One bad apple shouldn’t be allowed to spoil your barrel.

Don’t believe the hype of the brilliant, narcissistic boss who drives his people to wild heights of success with his unwavering commitment to innovation and excellence. (Think Steve Jobs … or at least what people say about Steve Jobs.)

That’s crap. Most narcissistic bosses are average-performing little despots skilled at smoke and mirrors. If they won’t do better, I guarantee you can.