Raising Turkeys

Sorry, no can do.

Today we began the huge task of loading and arranging our newly built floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Who’d have thought this would be such a controversial task? Christian wanted to help, but his idea was to place the books on the shelves willy nilly and then rearrange everything later. No way, I said, if we’re doing this we’re doing it right from the start. He got offended and left.

Later he came back, this time with Adam in tow. We agreed to place the books in sections—Interior Design, Sociology, Self-Help, Religious, Nature, Reference, and so on. So far so good. Then the disagreements started again, because Adam and I favored only placing the books we knew we loved and would read, but Christian wanted to keep everything, just in case. (Have I mentioned that Christian has hoarding tendencies, like his Dad?) We have a lot of shelves, so Adam and I started giving in, what the heck, but Adam drew the line at Raising Your Own Turkeys. “Why do we need this, Christian, huh? In case a turkey farmer drops by?! No, we’re not keeping this!” And he threw the book in the bin slated for Goodwill.

Things moved along for a while, then all heck broke lose over where to put the bible. Should it go on Adam’s “thinking man’s shelf,” the one centered by a wooden sculpture of a sitting man deep in thought, legs crossed, or with the other religious books? Christian insisted the bible should not have to keep company with A Clockwork Orange; Adam was just as insistent that the only proper place for the good book was on that shelf, along with all the other texts that any “thinking man” would choose if he knew he’d soon be stranded on an island. I thought they might come to fisticuffs, each believed in his own ideology so strongly. Finally, Christian grabbed the bible (from his personal collection) and said we could do whatever we wanted. I promptly grabbed my bible, the King James Version my mother bought for me many moons ago, and placed it in the empty spot. I don’t actually read this bible, because I don’t like the KJV, so its placement on the shelf was strictly for show. I asked Christian what he thought about that, but he declined to answer.

A couple of hours later, we stood back and declared our efforts good. I’m proud of my boys. It’s true that this family will argue about anything, but then again, books should stir controversy, no?