Sarah Gets Her Way, and I Ain’t Mad at Her

She's not Sarah, but she's definitely a stubborn little so and so.

My mother used to say that I am someone who “likes to get her way.” She meant to imply that I’m stubborn (I prefer the term “committed decision maker;" I can’t remember where I first heard that, but I like it), and I think she intended for me to understand that her comment was in no way a compliment. But this is one criticism that would never take hold because—who the heck doesn’t like to get her own way?

Maybe I am just that stubborn, but I can’t conceive of wanting to get someone else’s way, unless you’ve also adopted that way for yourself, like when you decide to compromise or let someone else have his way (in which case your way is to let him have his way). Am I supposed to believe that something is wrong with this?

Exactly who are these people that don’t like to get their own way, or in other words, “don’t really want what they want?” Is it even possible to not want what you want? Isn’t that a contradiction? I’m talking about wanting something at the time you want it, not five minutes, fifty minutes, or fifty years later when you say “I wanted it them, but I don’t want it now” or “I thought I wanted it, but I didn’t, so maybe I really didn’t want it” or “I wanted it, but had I known how bad it would be for me, I wouldn’t have wanted it” or something convoluted such as this. Forgetting all of that, how can you not want what you want?

This morning I watched several back-to-back episodes of Sarah 101, because I love design shows, and I really like Sarah Richardson’s (and her assistant Tommy Smythe’s) designs. During this series, Sarah was showing her viewers how to upgrade your “standard” suburban house for a mere $107,000 and some change in “upgrading” expenses. Pure fantasy on my part, but I like watching it anyway. Part of the upgrading process is working with the builder and finagling what alterations can be finagled before the builder considers his work done. Sarah had requested a major change to the floor plan, and the builder said yes! Holding up the revised floor plan for Tommy’s perusal, Sarah says with a big smile “Do you like it when you get your way?!”

Heck yes, I do, and by the looks of it, Sarah does as well. I’m not saying I won’t compromise, I’m not saying I can’t be persuaded that someone else has a better idea, and I’m not saying that I never change my mind. I’m just saying I like getting what I want, and I don’t know why I wouldn’t (or you wouldn’t, either, for that matter).