5 Things I Absolutely Hate To Talk About

Although people generally think of me as quiet, I do like to talk. And if the conversation is about the workplace, God, my kids, interior décor, or my blog, well, you might not be able to shut me up.

But among all those things I love talking about are a few things I seriously can’t stand talking about. And these are—

Money you owe me—I think it’s because I’m an independent sort and I don’t like having to ask anyone for anything that I hate talking about money you owe me. When I have to ask you about the money you owe me, I feel like I owe you, and I don’t like that. So, I’m also liable to be rude when I ask you, because I’m irritated that you made me have to ask. Then I’m doubly irritated, because I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t particularly feel like thinking of nice ways to ask you, either.  This is why I generally follow my Dad’s advice and don’t lend money I wouldn’t miss if I never saw it again. However, once in a while someone owes me money I do miss, and then ... ugh.

What's for Dinner—Please, please don’t ask me this question. I don’t want to talk about cooking. It’s irritating and it’s boring. Chances are, it’s going to be one of about ten of the same damn meals I’ve been cooking for the last twelve years, anyway. Why are you torturing me? Just lift the lids on the pots and see for yourself! And, if there are no pots on the stove and it’s clearly past dinner time, and I’ve apparently decided I ain’t cooking, well … what did you want to know again?

Church Offerings—To tithe or not to tithe? Are you giving to God or your local (mismanaged) church? What about volunteer work, does that count? What if I’m broke? How can I give cheerfully if my church is shaming me? No, no, no. I don’t want to talk about it. People get all huffy and holy, and it gives me a headache.

The License Plate on the Car Immediately Ahead of Us—My husband has this habit of trying to decipher vanity plates, and it drives me bonkers (no pun intended). Does “2B4MBs” mean “Too big for my britches?” “Too broke for my Blahnik's?” Do I care? Hell no.

Who Dun It—My husband also has this annoying habit of trying to solve the crime show mystery out loud while the characters are talking. I hate that. I don’t want to figure it out—I want to be surprised at the end. And even if my brain starts trying to figure things out without my consent, it can’t do its thing if someone else is constantly talking and I can’t hear the show dialogue, right?

So there you have it. We can talk about politics, religion (just not church offerings), shopping—all kinds of stuff. Just please let’s avoid the five things listed. It makes me cranky.