Countdown to the Season Finale of ‘Scandal.’ No Black Men Allowed

I spent Mother’s Day at my brother’s with his family and his wife’s family.

Well, unbeknownst to me, my sister-in-law and her sister are huge Scandal fans, and somebody mentioned the name, and then we all started talking excitedly about who the mole is, and whether Liv and Fitz can really be together, and how as Christians we don’t understand how we got sucked into this show, and of course adultery is wrong, and we’re wrong we just know it—and then the three men in the room got wind of the conversation and one by one declared “Scandal? Hate it.”

And apparently the rumor is true. Black men can’t stand Scandal.

So I asked my brother, “Why do you hate it?”

And he says, “I don’t like the adultery, but more than that I hate the message. Here you have this powerful, capable black woman who can have anyone she wants, and she just can’t resist this white guy. So, the message is no matter how much you accomplish, as a black woman you’re always a whore.”

So all the women protest that no, Liv’s in love with Fitz.

And I ask, “Are you saying that if the President were black, you’d like the show more?”

Hank says yes, he could live with that a little better. He still wouldn’t like the adultery, though. (Fine. Intellectually every person in the room hates the adultery. Intellectually.)

He continues, “And, this guy’s a dud. He’s not even handsome. He’s ugly, and he’s a loser. He’s not like, a catch. His wife has to do his dirty work. Why would this woman want this white man? No, I hate it.”

I say, “I don’t think Tony Goldwyn is ugly!”

It’s true, though. When he played Bobbie Goren's drug-addicted, homeless brother on Law and Order, Criminal Intent, he wasn’t quite as appealing. But still.

How ya like me now?

My brother is not having it. He calls his wife, who’s walked out of the room and into the adjourning kitchen now—

“Jackie, would you like it if you were the President’s wife and he had an affair? You wouldn’t would you?”

Of course she says no.

Then he asks her, “Remember in 24, when the black President couldn’t keep his marriage together, and then he just had to be with that white woman? Did you like that? ”

Without hesitation, Jackie says firmly, “No, I didn’t.”

Hank says, “Yeah.”

So, I don’t know. I mean, Fitz is just as crazy about Liv as she is about him, although the relationship hasn’t really cost him much of anything…

Hmmm…

Is it possible we’ve been bamboozled? ‘Cause I’m almost certain that if (a) Fitz and Mellie were black and Liv was white, (b) Shonda Rhimes was white, or (c) Fitz stayed white but Mellie and Liv were black—

We black women would be pitching a fit.