Truth—Harder to Find Than a Needle in a Haystack

This morning, the anchors on Fox News wanted to talk about how the sports culture promotes lying.

What a waste of time.

As though athletes lie more often than teachers or truck drivers or CEOs. Puhleeze!

A few weeks ago, I quoted author Ralph Keyes as saying “lying has become as common as scratching itches.” I’m starting to think it’s even more common.

Earlier, Arnold Schwarzenegger had sat down with the Fox hosts to promote his new movie, The Last Stand. The hosts took the opportunity to ask Schwarzenegger his opinion of the Lance Armstrong and Manti Te’o  scandals. I guess they thought he’d have some deep thoughts, considering his own troubles with truth telling. But Schwarzenegger wanted to set the record straight. So he said—

Wait for it …. wait for it some more… “I never lied.”

The heck you say?!

Okay Arnold, I’ll humor you. Let’s hear it.

Says Arnold, “When my wife asked me the simple question, ‘Is this true?’ I said ‘Yes.’” Schwarzenegger then went on to state that he’d also never lied to the press.

Well  … okay… I suppose …

Damn! I’m at a serious loss for words here. This is some pretty bold shit here. A married man has an affair with his housekeeper, fathering a son in the process, and he still wants to present his behavior as honorable, because when his wife finally asked the “simple question,” he’d calmly stated the truth. Silly, Maria! Didn’t she know that Arnold would have told her everything at any time, if only she’s asked?! Lordy.

I like you, Arnold. Always have. But you will not pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

Score—Ralph Keyes, one hundred bazillion and one. The human race in general, negative-I-can’t-count-that-high.

Damn.