Obama Style—How to Put a Heckler in Her Place in Five Seconds or Less

I read about Michelle Obama being heckled this past Tuesday at a private DNC fundraiser and how she told the crowd “One of the things that I don't do well is this," before leaving the lectern and approaching the heckler, inviting the woman to "Listen to me, or you can take the mic, but I'm leaving. You all decide. You have one choice."

The “You have one choice” statement aside (which I found to be a little aggressive) I must admit, I got a kick out of this. Seriously, this is soooo BLACK WOMAN. I mean really. Obama may as well have said “Now don’t get it twisted. I’m not Barack. I ain’t trying to put up with the crap y’all put him through. I can stay or I can go. You tell me.” Hilarious.

The heckler, Ellen Sturtz, an activist with GetEQUAL, a pro-LGBT rights group (and apparently, black folks aren't the only ones who may be getting a bit weary of President Obama) must have gotten the shock of her life when Obama left the lectern and approached her, not that she’s admitting it. Sturtz told The Huffington Post, "She obviously thought she was going to make an example of me or something. I wasn't scared at all." Interesting. Who mentioned fear? Hmmm…

After Obama told everyone what was what, the crowd indicated that it wanted her to continue, and Sturtz was quickly ushered out. Problem handled—all in a matter of seconds.

Who says the world doesn't need more female leaders?

Teacher Suspended for Faking Terminal Illness

Ashley Barker, a first-grade teacher in Florida, has been suspended without pay while her employer investigates whether she faked a terminal illness so that she could leave early and take days off.

According to ABC News, Barker's termination letter stated that during the past year the school had reviewed approximately one hundred and twenty email messages sent by Barker—messages in which Barker said that she and her father were ill. As a result, the school principal allowed Barker "days off and flexibility to leave early.”

The school district is keeping mum on what tipped them off that Barker may have been lying. Was it Barker’s Facebook page? (I wouldn’t rule that out). Maybe a jealous coworker? (I definitely wouldn’t rule that out.) Who knows?

The school board informed Barker that she would be recommended for termination. My first thought was, “Oh really? Not for a psychiatric evaluation?” I mean, who does this? Barker is appealing the decision.

(Actually, I do know an employee who lied to his employer about studying for a Master’s degree and the need to take classes during the day. The employer granted the flexible schedule request, and the employee wasn’t taking any classes! He was merely lying his ass off.)

I suppose there are some facts not yet released that would make Barker look like less of a sociopathic schemer (and by the way, isn’t it really, really bad luck to lie about a sick parent?) and I'd like to know had Barker been granted FMLA leave? If so, what medical provider completed her paperwork? Who in the district reviewed the paperwork? Were Barker and her dad ever sick? Was Barker in the middle of some weird psychological study about the lack of humanity in the workplace? You know, workers tell their employers they have a terminal illness and then see how badly employers behave? (Hmmm ... there are plenty of sad but true stories, there. No need to manufacture any.)

Interesting.

I don’t understand these people who carry on such protracted cons for so long. I’d be terrified of being found out. Once I went on a job interview near my place of business during my lunch period, and I was scared to death of “getting caught.”

Well, if the district’s findings from its “Personnel Investigator” turn out to be valid, it’s bye bye for good for Ms. Baker, I’m sure.

Meanwhile, here’s today’s tip. Don’t lie to your employer about having a terminal illness!  It’s bad luck, in bad faith, and will get you booted to the unemployment line with a bad rep. Okay? Don’t say I never gave you any good advice.

Last Rational Commenter Throws in Towel and Vows to Join the "Babbling Haters." Says, "It’s Just Too Hard To Keep Making Sense."

USA (AP) The world's last rational commenter, “2987whirlygirl,” says that effective immediately, she will no longer attempt to make sense when posting responses to online news.

“I’ve fought the good fight all these years,” she lamented to The Daily Chronicle, the local newspaper in her hometown of Anywhere, USA, “But it’s impossible. No one wants to have a serious conversation. It’s all, ‘Clearly you were raised by a prostitute’ and 'Die, you scumbag-loving (insert racial expletive).’ And all because I said that butter is definitely better than margarine if you want cookies that are crisp on the outside and moist on the inside.”

The last surviving member of the “Fearless Quintet,” a grassroots coalition of five Internet users established for the purpose of “promoting civility and reasonableness in the world of online debate,” 2987whirlygirl has stood dauntless while watching each of her fellow activists quit the group one by one. Three developed irreversible carpal tunnel syndrome from posting upwards of six-hundred and forty-two comments per day to random websites; the fourth simply lost his passion for the cause and became a writer for The Onion.

When asked by this reporter why 2987whirlygirl couldn’t grow a pair and take her virtual whupping like a man, she retorted “You’re mean.” 

Then, pausing to collect her thoughts, she continued, “I’ve wondered whether I’m too sensitive, sure. But when someone calls you a ‘dirty cow’ and then accuses you of bringing about the ruin of the free nation because you think Colin Farrell did a decent job in ‘Total Recall,’ it’s hard to stay positive.”

But why not stop commenting, for crying out loud, and just keep your damn opinions to yourself?

“I can’t stop,” 2987whirlygirl said. “I have something to say, and I won’t be silenced! I can be irrational, hateful, off-topic, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and stupid too! If you can’t beat ‘em, then sometimes you just have to join ‘em.” Seemingly spent after this passionate declaration, she hung her head, sighed, and whispered, “I’m so tired.”

So what’s next?

“Now that I’ve made this decision, I’m ready to visit some of my favorite sites, like ilovetotravel2.com. And the next time I get called a ‘fascist loving, Obama boot-licking ho’ because I say how much I hope to visit Hawaii one day, I’m going to fire right back that the commenter is a &^%& filthy dog who deserves to have his home infested with bedbugs.” Staring defiantly at this reporter she continued “I don’t make the rules, I’ve just decided to start playing by them.”

Good luck, 2987whirlygirl, good luck.

Benjamin Hooks is a freelance journalist in YourTown, USA who says that you’re a %^&!$ and your mother is a $%^%# if you don’t like his work.

Everyone Has Limits

I saw a docudrama today about Danny Palm, who was convicted of second-degree murder after shooting John Harper, Jr at point-blank range one November morning in 1995.

When news of the murder hit the community, members were stunned and saddened—for Palm.

Just the week before, Harper had been convicted of a misdemeanor and fined $500 before being released. The charges? According to the sworn testimony of Palm and other community members, Harper, described as a bully, and his white El Camino had terrorized  neighbors for nearly 2 years, pulling up on and behind them unexpectedly as they drove, tailgating them, and in one case pursuing a neighbor for nearly 10 minutes after ramming her car from behind while her 9-year-old daughter sat terrified in the passenger seat.

Despite stories such as this from multiple sources, the jury couldn’t decide Harper’s intent, so they couldn’t convict, and Harper was offered a plea bargain.

(I have to say, I can’t for the life of me understand why the court didn’t at least revoke Harper’s driver’s license. Come on.)

This case intrigued me for so many reasons, but the main reason is that Harper’s family—that is, his parents (with whom he lived) and his sister—were very vocal in their disbelief that their John Harper was the same person being described by the community. In fact, they were adamant. 

But let’s face it—these accounts had to be true. They were numerous and reported by people who had no reason to accuse this young man of anything.

According to San Diego Magazine, here’s a quote from Harper’s sister—

"They call my brother a wacko, but I never saw that. John was not the wacko who chased my brother down a road and pumped bullets into an unarmed man... I don't know what the cause was, but I do know what the effect was. It's destroyed my mother and father. Those vigilantes took the law into their own hands, and my brother's murder is the result."

Superior Court Judge William Mudd, who later reduced Palm’s conviction to manslaughter, said that Harper was a "jerk" and "ne'er-do-well" who caused his own troubles.

Well, that sounds a little harsh, but after Harper’s death, neighbors did report being relieved they no longer had to fear him.

And when it’s all said and done, the story is just strange. What motivated Harper? There were reports of methamphetamine abuse, but again, his family said they never saw Harper high or under the influence of drugs. So how does that work? You get so high that ramming a neighbor’s car seems like a good idea, and then you go home like nothing happened, and no one notices anything odd about you? For 2 years?

And did Palm just snap? I think so. I tend to think that, after being confronted by Harper that last time, Palm just decided he couldn’t or wouldn’t take it anymore. Some may call that more premeditated than spontaneous, but I think that in that moment, Palm had simply reached his limit. After all, people oughtn't to be able to hijack other people’s lives with their insanity or their cruelty or their twisted sense of humor. And while I don’t approve of Palm’s actions, people are human and can reach a breaking point if pushed far enough.

One thing that's certain is that this situation is a study in waste and in how a single individual can create havoc for an entire body of people. No matter how often I learn that lesson, it always surprises me.

May I Help You? Oh, Screw It!

Today I read “Manners & Misdemeanors,” an article in the June/July issue of Town & Country.

The truth is that my lifestyle is as far from T&C as is the East from the West, but I do buy the magazine a few times a year. It has good articles and sometimes great fashion and jewelry spreads. And this month, Lauren Hutton is on the cover, and I like Lauren Hutton.

In any case, the article is about how people—including server people—no longer use good manners when dining in public.

I’ve had my share of poor servers, and I’m sure that if I were to look around, I’d notice some fellow diners (perhaps at my own table) exhibiting poor manners. But I confess that this really isn’t my cause. As for me, I mourn the passing of manners in another arena, and that’s professional networking.

Specifically, I'm troubled by the demise of what used to be called “professional courtesy.” Now, perhaps this was always more concept that reality. I don’t know. What I do know is that whatever may have been true in the past, in these current presents, there is a lot of rude, dismissive behavior amongst those who claim to consider themselves colleagues.

I have a friend who was laid off a few years ago (now employed for several years) who told me that when she was looking for a job, she was surprised by two things—the people she was certain would help and didn’t and the people from whom she didn’t expect help at all but who extended it nonetheless.

I’ve definitely experienced some of this while transitioning into a writing/consulting career, and I think the best way I can make sense of it is to say that some people are simply full of shit. They make a lot of noise about caring, and they project a warm and interested persona, but it’s false. Others are simply bad-mannered. Some are overwhelmed and don’t have the communication skills to express to you that they’d like to help but can’t, and still others don’t care anything about you or whether you do well or don’t do well.

And so I’m back to professional courtesy, because as I understand it, the point of a professional courtesy is to extend a nicety to someone for no other reason than that you share a vocation or some professional affiliation. And I have been absolutely appalled at the lack of courtesy present in my HR circles. Appalled. Some of these people can’t even be bothered saying “thank you” to a courtesy extended to them, let alone take five minutes to put in a good word for you or provide some information that could help you along your way. Too bad.

So again, I’m reminded that people are people. Some are giving and others aren’t, but the concept of professional courtesy is pretty much dead as far as I can tell. And I think that’s a shame, but it is what it is, right?