Getting Better with Age Is Not Up for Debate

One of the saddest sights to me is an old person who doesn't seem to have gotten better with time.

And I’m not talking about lumps, bumps, rolls, wiggles, jiggles, wrinkles, and sun spots.

I’m talking about (to borrow from Ian Murphy for a moment) someone who, despite being alive for a long time, has learned absolutely nothing from it.

It makes me wonder, what was this individual like when she was young? 

Was the person standing in front of me now (who horned her way on the bus by cutting in front of several people without so much as a sideways glance) made or was she born? Was she obnoxious as a teen? Or did she become rude and inconsiderate over time? What would her friends say about her? Would they say she’s a total sweetie pie? Or would they say she’s always been an unpleasant piece of work?

Because I have this idea that older people are supposed to be better. They’re supposed to be wiser, and kinder, and more patient.

Like a fine bottle of wine, you know?

And then I see a sixty-something-year-old-woman throw an entire lunch’s worth of trash on the floor beneath the bus seat in which she’s sitting, rather than wait until she can find a trashcan, and I can't help but think that’s just wrong. 

But examples of older-but-not-necessarily-better can be found in the boardroom as well as the bus.

Like in the leader who doesn’t know how to apologize or is too fearful of disapproval to stand for something important. 

Pitiful.

See, I’m all about improving with age, or what the heck’s the point?

What do you think?

And Now for Something Completely Different …

Adam is home from college for the summer, and I’m enjoying his company, for the most part. He does hog the television in the family room (all sports and music videos most of the time, with some obscure art film thrown in for good measure), and he’s a bit of a bad influence on Thomas, who’s been disobedient lately. (I’ll tell Thomas to turn his video game down, and Adam will lean over and whisper in Thomas’ ear, “You don’t have to take that from her, Thomas.”) Stuff like that.  

Adam's a writer, too. I asked him to read a piece I was writing for Jenx67, or Are You There God? It's Me Generation X, about a challenging experience I had managing a rather um … ambitious Millennial. Fresh-mouthed Adam snorts. “Yeah. Right. How about writing about all the old people” (translation, “You and your friends, Mom”) “… taking all the jobs from poor college students? I can’t even get a job at Walmart because of you.” Then, imitating a down-sized Gen Xer, he says “Ooooh, I’m a Barista at Starbucks.”

That boy has no respect.

But, he is my boy. So I laughed and said, “Maybe I will, Adam. Maybe I will. But not today.”

Nope, not today.

Today, I’m referring you all to my guest post on Jenx67.

Enjoy! 

Wisdom

I had two conversations today that reminded me that one can have all the knowledge in the world, but without wisdom one will still be as dumb as a bag of rocks.

With wisdom we know when to speak and when to shut up. We know how to hear beyond the words being spoken or see beyond the words written on the page. We know when to persevere and when to retreat and which battles are actually worth fighting.

A wise person knows she doesn’t know everything. She doesn’t have to get the last word in every discussion in a mad grab to look like the smartest in the room.

I spend a lot of time thinking about wisdom, because wisdom is impressive. Being smart is good and having knowledge is cool. But wisdom is even more important than these two, in my opinion. When I meet a wise person, I like to listen up, because true wisdom is rare, in my experience.

I’ve never met a wise person who wasn’t kind, and that intrigues me. I’ve met many smart, even knowledgeable, people who were miserable to be around. Some were puffed up and self-centered and even mean. Others were fearful and cowardly and thoughtless. All had in common a marked lack of wisdom.

I had a wise mother. She was human and had failings and sometimes her failings obscured her wisdom, but it was there all the same.

Since her passing the Lord has put several wise women in my path, and I’m grateful. I covet wisdom. The bible says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5).

So, I regularly pray for wisdom, because every child needs a wise mother, every husband needs a wise wife, and every woman deserves a wise friend.

What about you? What personal trait do you covet?