Never Trust HR and Other Workplace Tips for Millennials

One of my favorite Millennials is graduating from college next month, and it occurs to me that he, like millions of others from the so-called Godless Generation, could benefit from some sage counsel before entering the workforce.

So while the world may view us crusty Gen-Xers as all but done, holding on for dear life while awaiting our sure and inevitable Millennial takedown (or is it shakedown?), I say “Bah! You’ve still got lots to learn from us, kids.”

For example…

Follow Instructions

Getting ahead at work is nearly impossible if you can’t follow instructions. I don’t care how much you know, how brilliant you are, or how much experience you have, following instructions is key to getting—and more importantly, keeping—a job. There’s a time for creativity, breaking the rules, and deviating from what’s expected, but most likely that’s not at the beginning of a brand new job in a brand new career. And if you don’t understand the instructions, PLEASE don’t pretend you do. Instead, ask clarifying questions. (And if you don’t know what a clarifying question is, do the research.)

Respect Your Boss

Offering respect to someone respectable is easy. Offering respect to someone decidedly NOT respectable is a real feat, but there’s not a whole lot to be gained by demonstrating contempt for your boss. So unless it’s a matter of psychological, physical, or financial survival, (1) don’t violate the chain of command, (2) don’t ignore directives, and (3) don’t talk fresh.

Respect Yourself

Now is as good a time as any to learn how to stick up for yourself as well as for what’s right. In addition to providing financial security, work is a source of satisfaction, purpose, and identity for many. Work is good. However, the workplace can be an incubator and a haven for all manner of human wickedness and dysfunction, so prepare to be tried and tested while resolving to gather from each trial additional strength, resilience, moral clarity, and emotional intelligence.

Practice Being a Good Judge of Character

How well you fare at work will in large part come down to how well you judge character. In whom will you place your confidence? Choose poorly, and you’ll pay the price. Choose well, and you’ll reap the rewards. Correctly discerning character takes time, patience, and a willingness to accept people as they prove themselves to be. Someone who claims good character but who lies, is manipulative, or appears uninterested in the Law of Reciprocity should be judged by his actions, not his words. And speaking of which …

Use Your Words Responsibly

Words have weight and power. Use your words to edify, educate, and entertain but don’t use them to hurt. Don’t engage in vicious gossip, don’t tell fibs, and don’t say mean and nasty things just because you can. And for God’s sake, use Spell Checker! It’s amazing how many employees don’t bother with that nowadays. Your work will stand out if you do.

Pay Attention

Pay attention, and you’ll go far. Study people. Take the time to understand why most of us do what we do, and you’ll be an empathetic and inspiring leader, no matter your official title. On a more practical note, paying attention will also enhance your ability to quickly pick up new tasks, which any good manager will appreciate.

Volunteer

Do that thing other people won’t, and you’ll gain favor, self-insight, and new skills. And here’s the thing about skills. You can build on them, and no one—no matter how determined—can ever take them away from you.

Don’t Let the Haters Get You Down

The brighter your light shines, the more some joker will determine to take you down. Who knows what motivates these hateful spirits, and who cares? The point is to not let them cause you to doubt your ability, sincerity, or intentions. Smile, stay on path, and determine to let the haters choke on their own venom, if that’s what they want.

Never Trust HR

And, oh yeah … never trust HR. Right now the profession is in quite a flux, and it’s full of people who simply aren’t very good at their jobs. Sadly, they’re okay with that. So … if you ever find yourself on the wrong side of a workplace dispute, don’t go to HR expecting to be helped. Go to cover your butt or go to satisfy your curiosity, but don’t go hoping something useful will result, or you’ll be disappointed. And hey, if something useful DOES result, it’s all gravy! But even so, be sure and run everything by Mom another HR pro (who doesn't work for your company) you can trust, because she’ll always give you the real deal.

Happy Graduation!

The Awful Truth: What LinkedIn Has Taught Me About People

I’m a fairly active participant on LinkedIn, and I enjoy hanging out there, promoting my blog, being directed to other people’s blogs, and just generally hearing what people in the world of work are up to and talking about.

But make no mistake. Even within what some might consider the sheltered, virtual walls of the largest white-collar office building in the world, stuff happens. People are people, and sometimes people suck. For example, spending time on LinkedIn has taught me that …

Some Folks Think They’re Better Than Everyone Else

Well, I’m not certain what they think, but it sure comes across that way. These are the individuals who will insert themselves into a conversation that others are peacefully and respectfully enjoying and insist that it’s inappropriate, off-topic, or boring. Now why would anyone do that, I ask? Public service announcement? I don’t think so. It’s a puzzle to me, because it’s not as though group members are sitting around a large conference table in handcuffs, forced to listen to each other’s inane chatter. If the topic doesn’t interest you, then don’t click the link. Alternatively, if you were enjoying the conversation at one time but now aren’t, unsubscribe, and your email won’t be flooded with a bunch of stuff you don’t feel like reading.

Some People are Intolerant

Whenever social justice issues make an appearance in mixed LinkedIn groups, talk is liable to turn ugly, even in 2013 amongst a group of so-called professionals. Discussions I’ve followed have been shut down by moderators because someone complained that LinkedIn is no place to talk about poverty, racial tensions, income inequality, or anything else that makes some people “uncomfortable,” and other times folks just got out of hand. Topics that set people off included Hillary Clinton speaking at the annual SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) conference, George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin, Paula Deen, and of course, the Affordable Care Act. The words that fly off some folks’ keyboards is scandalous, in my opinion, and complete evidence of some pretty dark beliefs. Sad.

Some People Can’t Take “No” for an Answer

When a discussion gets personal, I’m out. I’m happy to defend my ideas, but I won’t defend my person—especially to people who don’t even know me, although they may think they do.

So, when a fight discussion is getting nasty, I’ll disengage. I’m not a punk, but I don’t fight shadows, and I don’t fight stupid. (You can take that last bit anyway you wish.)

Still, there are those who simply won’t take no for an answer. I’ve been called names and baited even after I made it perfectly clear that I’m not one to participate in that sort of thing—even as the baiter claimed superiority.

Some People Are Mad About a Lot of Stuff

Not too long ago I wrote a piece that didn't denounce the ACA (aka Obamacare), and certain members in a certain LinkedIn group just went bananas.

Here’s a sample:

"How come all of those seeking entitlements and hand-outs ALWAYS seem to have no trouble buying cars (well beyond their means), smartphones/iPhones, smart phone data plans (after all, you need to have that phone cause you don't want to miss that important text message or Facebook post), internet access, cable TV, expensive shoes/sneakers/clothes, lottery tickets, alcohol, pot, ecstacy [sic], dining out (fast food preferred), movie tickets, travel, vacations, BUT . . . THEY WANT FREE HEALTHCARE because the can't afford the cost! FOODSTAMPS because they need to buy those lottery tickets and alcohol (don't dare ask them to work for their foodstamps or take a drug test for their foodstamps though, cause then you are a (wait for it) RACIST! What they really need to get is BETTER TALKING POINTS cause the ones they have now don't work anymore. Maybe we can get another genius like that ineffective and unqualified President to come up with some new talking points. Because you know with all the FREE eductation [sic] they get they can't come up with them on their own!"

Oh my God. (And that is a literal cry to the almighty. No blaspheming here.)

Hateful stuff. But it gets worse. One poster, apparently in a fury about another poster’s comments, directed a note to her thusly:

“Will tell you this XXX [poster with alternate viewpoint] have been reading all of your posts. Just marked it down, don't think I will be requesting any more quotes from the [XXX’s employer] with you on board. They haven't been very competitive anyway.

But I find it so ironic to hear your rants on big business, and then you gladly take a pay check form [sic] one of the biggest. Funny, gave me a [sic] idea. Decided to cut and paste all your posts, your information and send to the head of marketing. Want to make sure they know how compassionate you are with the brokers you are supposed to be working with. Have fun.”

I literally got chills when I read this. Lordy, I may never vote Republican again. Seriously. There was just that one time, but still… 

On the plus side, I was happy to see another poster call this first poster out (in a very nice way) for behaving poorly.

Some People are Idiots

Actually, I’m mostly talking about myself here. And I’m an idiot, because I’ve been participating in the same LinkedIn circles long enough to know that there are certain people whose opinions I abhor, and yet I still find myself occasionally engaging in their discussions and getting pissed. Like I said, idiot. I should know better and just stay away.

You may be thinking, "Gee girly, if you didn't know this stuff before LinkedIn, I feel sorry for you." 

But here's the thing—I honestly was surprised the first time I read a really nasty post on LinkedIn. I just didn't expect it. We teach kids to beware what they post on social media, and here you have adults, "professionals" no less, posting all kinds of junk.

So yeah, I knew these things about people before, but I relearned them on LinkedIn.

Of course, I’ve also met wonderful people on LinkedIn, but this list is about the awful truth, okay?

Do you have something to add to the list? Please post it in the Comments section!

Stick a Fork in You Voice Mail, You're Just About Done

A few days ago, I missed an important call and so undertook the horrendous task of setting up my home voice mail and checking all my messages.

Wait. Let me back up a bit.

In a fit of irritation, I’d unplugged my landline phone and thrown it into a box somewhere. It seemed like the right thing to do. Only annoying people (i.e., telemarketers) called, and I absolutely hated the sound of the ring.  

Recently however, I decided to plug the phone in again and use it as my office phone, since it does give better reception than the $10 cell phone my oldest son bought me (another story for another day) … except I couldn’t actually find the phone. So, I bought a new phone and plugged that in.  

And shoot. I missed the phone call, and I could see that I had messages, but I had no idea how to access the messages. I hit every button on the phone and read every line of instruction in the package insert, but no luck. Finally, I did a Google search and learned that I needed to set up my voice mail with my phone provider. Sigh.  

I got it all straightened out, and then I began to listen to my voice mail messages. All 150 of them, with the oldest going back three years.  

I have never been so bored in all my days. Of those 150 messages, I ended up saving one—a cute message from my oldest son to my youngest about some video game battle they’d entered into.  

There was a message from Adam’s high school history teacher about a test rescheduling (Adam is now a Junior in college).  

There was a message from a friend who said she’d go ahead and try me on my cell (good move, Michele!).

There were the obligatory sales messages.

And there were several messages from a somewhat seductive sounding Red Cross employee named Willetta who is apparently quite desperate to get her hands on my husband’s platelets. (Ed, would you please give Willetta your cell phone number??)

And oh, the important call I missed? That caller didn’t leave a message.

It took me nearly an hour to listen to all the messages, even after I learned that I could hit 77 and delete the speaker’s voice mid-sentence. Thank you, Lord.

I think of all this and am reminded of that New York Times article by Nick Bilton, in which he declared those who leave voice mail messages as “impolite” wasters of his time.

Bilton was criticized heavily for his stance (well, he did brag that he and his mother now communicate only via Twitter), but I agree (at least in part). The process for accessing voice mail just sucks. So many prompts. So little interest in following said prompts.

Consider me an official voice mail hater.

In "Is it Time to Hang Up on Voice Mail?" Jack Santos, a research vice president with Gartner, an information technology research and advisory firm, is quoted as saying:

“There used to be a time when we would know that a voice mail message would get picked up and people would respond to it right away. You just don't know any more. It could be days before anyone checks their voice mail.”
 
So true, Jack. And if the call was made to someone’s landline (you know, the landline you keep specifically for bothersome sales people and others to whom you don’t want to give your real number, even as you convince yourself that hey, at least you didn’t lie and make up a number), who knows when you’ll get a call back? In my case, at least three years.

Texting is still too casual a method for formal work situations, and it is not okay to text a client, a recruiter, or a prospective employer. However, I suspect that in time this will change, unless of course by then some other new and wonderful technology takes the place of texting, which is entirely possible.

And by the way, none of this means I don't leave voice mail messages. 

Although come to think of it, no one actually calls me back...