Thursday, June 6, 2013

I Want to Be Your Main Squeeze, Not Your Booty Call

I care about you. Honest. And I want to spend time with you. You and I have stuff in common. And when we hook up, you’re always complimentary. And you’re generous, too. I like that.

But it’s a little insulting when you call me at the last minute to do what that other gal couldn’t do.

Oh, I’ll do it. Even if it kills me. Because I am a pro. But next time, please—

Call me first.

I don’t mean to sound demanding. I know you don’t care for  that. But could we slow things down a little? Does everything always have to be so rushed? Let’s take our time, here. Plan when we’re going to meet. Set aside some quality time. It’ll be good for both of us.

Because I’m definitely main squeeze material—marriage material, even. But I’ve been letting you get away with the booty call, and I need to put an end to that.

No more booty calls.


The next time that other writer—the one you called first—jacks up your stuff, don’t call me for a last-minute “wham bam thank you ma’am,” okay?

Call me first.

I think we could have a real future together.



  1. Absolutely loved it! And shared it. And I'll give you the reasons, as I did on FB:

    It shows originality and personality -- it's not likely to be forgotten by a reader.
    Its suggestive character stirs emotions, and this is what makes a reader react (laugh, comment, share -- as I did --, search for more posts, ask for the gig) and not click away.
    It actually shows that the freelancer is able to assume a unique, different "voice" -- and that's what customers want, anyway.
    It's purposeful and to-the-point, without tiring readers.
    The post instructs by its own presence and nothing more: no how-tos, no bullet-point lists, nothing. Plain and pure "watch me and learn"!

    Congrats, Crystal, I'll definitely vote for your post.

    1. Thank you very much Helene. I'm honored that you found this piece so much to your liking!

  2. Nicely done. I also know the feeling too well. It doesn't happen often any more because I have some really good long time clients but it happened a lot during the first few years I was writing. My solution? When a client asked me to bid a job and then went with a lower bidder from some foreign country to save money, I would just wait it out patiently. Within a week, they were almost always messaging me to fix what the other guy had written. At that point, the price doubled or tripled. Only a couple clients ever complained about paying the extra and most of them learned the lesson the first time.

    1. Larry, today I found your comment in SPAM. What the heck? I just clicked on that button to see what would happen. LOL. I wasn't expecting anything.

      Anyhoo, thanks for the advice. It's encouraging to hear that you're getting paid what you want. I'm finally starting to put my foot down, and it feels good!

  3. Loved it! So sorry I missed the voting deadline. You would have received a resounding "yes" from me! :)

    1. Hi Cheryl! It's the thought that counts, truly! Thanks for stopping by.